Tuesday, September 30, 2008
in the presidental debate barack obama looked more sincre when he was talking to Mccain. both candidates were a dark suite and talked with there hands. barack and mccain were nervous at first then where comfortable with anwsers. barack obama anwsered each question looking at John Mccain while anwsering the question. John McCain laughed during the debate. bith candidates had strong arguments.
McCain v. Obama Debate
After watching part of this debate, I believe that Obama won this one. Obama had a very clean image just like McCain. They both had red, white, and blue colors just like the US flag. Obama had the pin on which to most would be what they would first look at, as I did. They both dresses well.
McCain's composure and reactions however didn't portray the same. He blinked a lot and is body moves about a bit while answering question. He also only looked forward and never gave eye contact to Obama as if he was scared. Obama however looked at McCain during almost every question. He sounded strong and firm just like McCain. He did however get a little agitated as he interrupted McCain a couple times. McCain's constant attacking showed that he was a republican that would probably never agree with any other party but Obama however laughed at some of McCain's comments and by saying he agreed with McCain's points in come cases showed him in a nicer and kinder fashion and even that he would be able to cross sides and work with the other party.
McCain also always tried to get back to the issue of government spending for every question he got asked when talking about the economy, never really answering the questions and at one point saying "Sure, but..." to get back to it. Obama however got right to the questions and answers them with solutions and bullet points. He was always truthful and never tried to fluff anything like McCain sounded with his lack of answers. McCain did however attack Obama but Obama came back with clear and strong responses making McCain's attempts fail.
Overall, both McCain and Obama did well but McCain's nervous behaviors and Obama's strong and firm responses pull him on top.
McCain's composure and reactions however didn't portray the same. He blinked a lot and is body moves about a bit while answering question. He also only looked forward and never gave eye contact to Obama as if he was scared. Obama however looked at McCain during almost every question. He sounded strong and firm just like McCain. He did however get a little agitated as he interrupted McCain a couple times. McCain's constant attacking showed that he was a republican that would probably never agree with any other party but Obama however laughed at some of McCain's comments and by saying he agreed with McCain's points in come cases showed him in a nicer and kinder fashion and even that he would be able to cross sides and work with the other party.
McCain also always tried to get back to the issue of government spending for every question he got asked when talking about the economy, never really answering the questions and at one point saying "Sure, but..." to get back to it. Obama however got right to the questions and answers them with solutions and bullet points. He was always truthful and never tried to fluff anything like McCain sounded with his lack of answers. McCain did however attack Obama but Obama came back with clear and strong responses making McCain's attempts fail.
Overall, both McCain and Obama did well but McCain's nervous behaviors and Obama's strong and firm responses pull him on top.
Presidential Debate #1
I feel that this debate set the tone for the rest of the campaign. I am a registered democrat and a Barack Obama supporter, but I am open to everything and have given John McCain a chance. I was not impressed with John McCain at all. He came off unprofessional in my eyes. He smiled and laughed during Barack Obama's response's and throughout the Debate. He didn't once look at Obama during the debate, which I don't understand. A debate is nothing more than an organized argument, but McCain failed to come off confident, firm, and just respectful. Him not doing this makes him seem like he doesn't respect Obama, take this campaign seriously, or it shows a lack of humbleness. I honestly just don't agree with anything that McCain believes in. But after watching the Debate, I just don't like the man.
Barack Obama came off well prepared. He was ready to respond to every comment McCain made. He looked at Senator McCain when he talked, or referred to him, like a real man and leader should do. Obama spoke firmly and confidently. When he speaks, I feel like I can trust him. Obama over powered McCain in the argument; it showed, and there differences were like night and day. Obama had points and steps to every idea that he proposed, showing that he is well organized, and thinks things through. I honestly feel that Obama is the obvious choice for the United States. We need change, and we need it now. Electing McCain will be like repeating a mistake.
Barack Obama came off well prepared. He was ready to respond to every comment McCain made. He looked at Senator McCain when he talked, or referred to him, like a real man and leader should do. Obama spoke firmly and confidently. When he speaks, I feel like I can trust him. Obama over powered McCain in the argument; it showed, and there differences were like night and day. Obama had points and steps to every idea that he proposed, showing that he is well organized, and thinks things through. I honestly feel that Obama is the obvious choice for the United States. We need change, and we need it now. Electing McCain will be like repeating a mistake.
In class on Monday, my half of the room had to analyze Barack Obama. One of the things we analyzed was apperance or image of the canadate. Obama was wearing all red white and blue. He had a red and white striped tie to match a blue suit. He was also wearing the American flag pin, that he had been critisized for not wearing earlier in the campaign. Also we had to analyze his tone, reaction, vioce, and composure. The first thing I noticed was that he talks with his hands all the time. I also noticed that when he gets aggrivated he cuts off McCain and starts to stutter. Also when he is aggrivated his voices gets a lot louder and he doesnt really keep his composure. Following that, we analyzed the connection with the moderator, the other candidate, and the audience. Most of the time he looks at the moderator and doesn't look at McCain at all. He speaks to the audiance a good amount.
Obama & McCain Debate
When both senators walked out at the beginning of the debate, Obama's confidence over shined McCain. Obama responded to the debate questions with strong answers and confidence in what he was saying. He answered by saying his words in bullet points and numbers, which I like because it is easier for the listener to follow what he is saying. The eye contact with McCain, the audience, the camera, and the mediator were strong. He would turn to McCain at times and talk directly towards him.
Although McCain's confidence level was not showing as much as Obama's, McCain did have good hand motions that flowed good along with the words to his answers. Also, he spoke about how he is older which relates to all the experience he has. He seemed nervous in the beginning, his voice was quiet and almost weak. By the second question he seemed to stand firmer with his answers. When the mediator said they had to move on, McCain interrupted him twice. Also, when asked about three times to respond directly back to Obama, he did not.
Overall, Obama stood out as the stronger debater. He had good eye contact, a strong speaking voice, and clear concise answers.
Although McCain's confidence level was not showing as much as Obama's, McCain did have good hand motions that flowed good along with the words to his answers. Also, he spoke about how he is older which relates to all the experience he has. He seemed nervous in the beginning, his voice was quiet and almost weak. By the second question he seemed to stand firmer with his answers. When the mediator said they had to move on, McCain interrupted him twice. Also, when asked about three times to respond directly back to Obama, he did not.
Overall, Obama stood out as the stronger debater. He had good eye contact, a strong speaking voice, and clear concise answers.
The Red Sox post season analysis!
I am a Red Sox but I am also someone that is realistic. While I have faith in the Sox, I think the Angels are just too good. Their rotation isn't deep enough to last long at all. John Lester is by far our as of August. He can not be stopped and has gone eight innings in more than 3 games in the last month. I think he will take game 1 for us. John Lackey will get the hill for the Angels. He is a great pitcher but the Sox can get to him fast and take his game away from him. Game 2 will go to the Angels as well as Games 3 and 4. Dice-K is one of the best pitchers in the AL but with a lineup like the halo's, they are gonna get to him fast. ANd everyone knows when DiceK starts to get hit hard, he doesn't last very long. That brings in our bullpen, GAME OVER! Mike Timlin, Manny Delcarmen, and Javier Lopez. That spells disaster. Papelbon is our only bullpen pitcher unless Bartolo moves the pen for the playoffs but with Beckett on the DL, I don't see that happening.
My Picks
SOX V. ANGELS
GAME 1- W - 4-3 Lester vs. Lackey
GAME 2- L - 8-2 DiceK vs. E. Santana
GAME 3- L - 5-3 Bartolo/Byrd vs. TBA
GAME 4- L - 6-5 Bartolo/Byrd vs. TBA
CUBS BEAT THE ANGELS IN THE WORLD SERIES 4 GMS TO 2
POST TO ME, I WOULD LIKE TO DEBATE THIS!?!?
My Picks
SOX V. ANGELS
GAME 1- W - 4-3 Lester vs. Lackey
GAME 2- L - 8-2 DiceK vs. E. Santana
GAME 3- L - 5-3 Bartolo/Byrd vs. TBA
GAME 4- L - 6-5 Bartolo/Byrd vs. TBA
CUBS BEAT THE ANGELS IN THE WORLD SERIES 4 GMS TO 2
POST TO ME, I WOULD LIKE TO DEBATE THIS!?!?
McCain v. Obama (Round 1)
The first of three presidential debate may not have shown a clear winner, but if confidence was the key to victory, Senator Barack Obama was your man. Eventhough he may not of answered some questions clearly and tended to shy away from others, Obama had a great aspect to himself. As he entered the auditorium Obama gave John McCain the respect enough look him in the eyes and associate him by name. On his very first question, he attacked McCain's position on the recent economic crisis. McCain had nothing, and we all could tell John was very shook up and not at all ready to be at the debate.
Obama's appearance was also a huge part of the debate. He wore the American Flag pin that his was, earlier in his campaign, critized for not wearing. Obama also did not slouch. His posture was kept upright and very attentive, taking notes while McCain was speaking, and never missing a beat to attack him. His hands were active but not overly active. He kept them just out in front of him, not making any big handjesters.
This debate was the very promising for Senator Obama. He stated main points, even if they weren't the points relative to the questions being asked. McCain was not on point and he made little, if no eye contact with Obama. Pay attention to body language, not only the answers of the questions. The appearances of people can tell you alot about that person.
Obama's appearance was also a huge part of the debate. He wore the American Flag pin that his was, earlier in his campaign, critized for not wearing. Obama also did not slouch. His posture was kept upright and very attentive, taking notes while McCain was speaking, and never missing a beat to attack him. His hands were active but not overly active. He kept them just out in front of him, not making any big handjesters.
This debate was the very promising for Senator Obama. He stated main points, even if they weren't the points relative to the questions being asked. McCain was not on point and he made little, if no eye contact with Obama. Pay attention to body language, not only the answers of the questions. The appearances of people can tell you alot about that person.
Presidential debate
Senator Obama presented himself very well during the debate. when he and John McCain entered the stage Obama went right for a hand shake while McCain looked at the crowd and smiled. Senator Obama also looked right at the camera while answering the questions and he looked at McCain while he talked to him. during the first question he seemed to be too stern but as the questions followed he relaxed. With his answers he mostly talked about how much tax money was spent and how he wanted to lower taxes. he also wanted to lower the amount spent because he felt that it was spent on useless things.
Obama/McCain Debate
Just from watching the presidential debate for a little while, you could already tell a lot about the candidates. Senator Obama seemed to be very aggressive and confident up on stage in his blue suit and purple tie with the american flag pin, of course. He's very firm when he talks and the hand gestures he uses when stating facts add to his character. Obama always got right to the point when asked a question and had very througho answers. I think Obama came off as confident because he displayed numerous acts of not being intimidated by McCain. Senator Obama was constantly looking at McCain, trying to make him look bad in a way by saying how he agrees with President Bush on certain issues, and at one point through the debate he ended with "that's what I'm going to change when I'm president." Never did he let McCain state something false about him without interrupting. Senator McCain on the other hand wasn't exactly what I'd call aggressive. He's an older man and isn't afraid to mention that. McCain seemed very passive, always letting Obama talk over him, didn't seem to have very much confidence either. Everytime he was asked a question he kind of wasted time or wandered off subject and always brought up history. He never stated what his plan was for financial recovery and answered "sure" to if he agreed with a plan. If Senator Obama approached him about a question he would laugh it off and never make eye contact. All the stuttering and blinking his eyes made him seem as if he was more nervous than confident. After watching the debate, I think that Obama is delivering better to the country and voicing his plans a lot better than McCain. We need a president with confidence and knowledge of how to fix problems going on around us.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Presidential Debate
Watching the debate you could see a lot about each candidate. I feel like you could watch the whole debate with the sound off and you could still determine a lot and base an opinion on each candidate. For example you could see Obama's confidence right off the bat with his head high and is posture perfect. You could see McCain's nerves for the first 10 minutes or so by him looking down a lot and blinking a lot. Just watching the mannerisms and the way these guys carry themselves is what I enjoy the most about these debates. Because the answers they give and the things they say are all previously written and not really a true indication of what their going to do anyway so I enjoy seeing how they handle things. Obama seems to be trying hard to come across as a leader. His sharp tone, his strong piercing looks, and how he confidently makes points are all different things I'm sure he's worked on to come across as someone who could lead this country. McCain seems to be trying to come across as a friendly old guy who has experience in everything. Constantly making "old/ been around" remarks. Not just to show that he has experience but to subtly pick at the fact that Obama's "weakness" is that he doesn't have a lot of experience. Overall I thought they both ended up coming across well. At first it seemed McCain was very nervous. He was blinking a ton, taking a long time to get words out, and not really looking at anything. After about 10 minutes though he loosened right up. He was looking at who he needed to, standing a little more confident, and laughing at Obama and some of the different comments. Obama came out strong. Chest out, head up, talking very fluently. He maintained that pretty well the whole time. You could see him get a little riled up and flustered when McCain laughed at him one time but ultimately I thought he looked well. I'm sure they both practiced there mannerisms and behavior for this debate and I thought they both did a nice job of portraying themselves.
Obama v. McCain
The debate was no where near close in my eyes. From the appearance and the two candidates images there was enough information to chose a winner but even in the debate itself only one man won. In my eyes, Barack Obama destroyed John McCain in the debate. Barack showed a great image, by always looking at McCain when he talked, not avoiding questions and outlining his plans on what he would do if he were to make office. McCain avoided questions, barely looked at Obama during the debate and could never give a straight forward answer on what he would accomplish in office. This debate proved that Obama although very young, can lead this country because he knows what he is talking about and he has plans for the future. I was already a Obama fan but this debate pretty much locked my vote for him.
Debate Analysis
If the election was based on this debate, I belive senetor Obama would win. His composuor was much better then McKain's. He spoke with a stronger tone, he made eye contact with the not just the mediator, but his opponent, and the audience. He also rebuttled against his opponent, and McKain just stopped and let him keep going. Obamas sndwers were more specific and to the point. McKain danced around questions, snd just brought up historical facts. Obama made a smart choice in comparing McKain to president Bush on a few occasions. That did not help Mckain at all. Wheather it was appearance, tone, answers, or connection to the people around him, senetor Obama dominated the debate.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Blog 3
Parent's Day was this Saturday, my mom and dad came and they brought my dog. My boyfriend also came to visit. We went to lunch which was held at the Woodward Center, but it was too crowded and the food was not that great. Then, despite the rain, we watched the first quarter of the football game. Since we were still starving, we went out to eat at Applebee's. The restaurant was filled with families and their child that attends Westfield State. The food was really good and my parents and boyfriend enjoyed being able to talk to me in person instead of through phone conversations.
sept. 26-28 weekend
This weekend was so far the worst weekend I've had in years. I went back to my hometown to work, watched the presidential debate then I had to write a paper about it. Now I'm back on campus, doing some more homework. Hopefully nothing comes up just so i could get my 8 hour sleep
presidental view on the media
John McCain and Barack Obama have different view on the media. People have questions regarding how much each president knows about are changing media. Early on in are society many things were censored such as swearing and nudity. Today these things are an everyday norm on television. The purpose of the media was to inform people fast and easier. For example the Vietnam War, was publicized to show people what was going on in different parts of the world. The media showed the reality of war
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Blog 2
Twenty more days I can't wait. Archery season finaly opens on october 13 and there is no school. I deffinetly know what I will be doing all day. No work No school means there will be an awsome three day weekend. This is going to be the best oppening day ever.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Summer Job
Over the Summer I had a very interesting job. I worked for Harvard University Police Department on an internship. Although it was just an internship I got some experience with law which will help me a lot in the future considering i want to be a police officer when I am older.
During the job i did a lot of paper work which was very boring at times, but i did get to ride along in the unmarked cruisers a few times which was very interesting. Overall it was a great experience and I was very thankful to get the opportunity.
CYO
During high school I was not on the schools basketball team. However, I was on the CYO basketball team as a captain. The CYO team was the church team, and although it was not the high school team we still played throughout the state vs. some good competition. It was pretty much the same team for four years and we thrived off our intensity and speed.
During the four years it was our goal to win the state championship. The first two years we could not get out of the first round, the third year we lost in the champion ship. Finally my senior year and final chance to win the championship we won. I had a good playoff series up until the regional tournament. I played well myself and so did the team but we lost to a team from Connecticut. The year was very fun and I enjoyed playing with my friends for one last year and winning the championship.
Blog 2
Ahh, home. Nothing is better than just going back home and relaxing. That is what I did this weekend. It was great. Didn't have too do anything, just home with the family. I did have to do my laundry, which I found out everyone takes back home as I left myself. Also, god did I miss the food. My mom cooked some good home cooking and I eat that up fast. That is something I will miss a lot. My parents also bought me a camera. It was my birthday on the 15 so they bought me that. It was pretty cool. Yeah, I am glad I went home. It was a good break from all the shit going on here at Westfield, lol.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Patriots can kiss the playoffs goodbye.
Hey there guys. I hope you guys had fun wacthing the patriots get there ass kicked by the Miami Dolphins. I know i had fun. See i'm not a patriots' fan, but when u think about the suppose to be "best team in the NFl" getting beat 38-13, by the worst team that ever played the game, That's just sad. Well sad for you guys, not me. I'm exited, hoping they loose there next game. The patriots suck now and They can kiss the playoffs goodbye. LETS GO COWBOYS, 3 and o baby.
Blog 2
I went home for the weekend and worked a shift at my job at Old Navy. It felt nice to be home but also strange at the same time. I noticed the little things more than usual and I appreciated them more. I watched the movie "What Happens in Vegas", it was not as funny as I thought it would be but it was still good. My mom and I went shopping and out to eat Friday and Saturday. She is having a hard time with me being gone because I am the youngest child so now there is no one in the house during the day except her and our dog because my dad works days and she works nights.
Blog 1
Last weekend I visited my boyfriend at UMass Amherst. I had a good time except that it rained and one of my friends almost got in a fight. One of my boyfriend's friends was being really rude to everyone so we ended up taking a walk outside and ran into people from my town. We all said hi and talked for a while. Later that night two of them got arrested and are now banned from the campus for two years.
Quintin Tarintino movies
Over the weekend I saw Resevour Dogs, and It was a great movie. The only problem I had was the lack of a message or point. Every movie Tarintino makes has no point really, except blood. I mean there isn't really anything wrong with that but I mean come on tI don't know does anyone else feel there should be something else there?
Blog 1
Wow I finally saw some old friends that I haven't talked to in a while. I met them at my home town high school football game on Friday and then we surprisingly hung out afterwords. It was really cool seeing some old friends again with ut arguments and it seemed like we would be friends again.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
2nd blog carlos mota
today is a great day i feel so special it gives me butterflies i finally became a citizen. i know to many that isnt something so special but to me it is something so good for words i feel like i belong here now. I have traveled to my home country many times and i would always see the same thing sad faces looks of depression and poverty in the air. i was tired of seeing that and i knew that if i didnt become a citizen then there was still a chance of me ending back over there. Now its not that i hate my home country but it is still a baby country there to much curruption in politics and the goverment doesnt do much for its citizens so i love my country but i wouldnt love to live there the rest of my life i enjoy this country more because i have more opportunities here then i do over there. So thank you all if you feel happy for me but thats one small step now off to become a computer programer !jikes! sounds easier than what it truly is.
first blog "carlos mota"
these are the answers to the last 2 questions i missed on the story of "How I Lost the Junior Miss Pageant" the ideas for writing part.
1. I ran for president of my class and lost for many reasons was why i failed but i know what was the main reason i failed. I wasn't popular enough so of course the most popular senior got all the votes and hardly got any. Even though i lost i learn something that day, i learn that you must be either popular or must have connections to do much in politics. I wasn't upset i know i did my best so i didn't beat myself up for losing am just glad i ran for president.
2. I remember a time that i exceeded my own expectations it was in a football game. This football game meant a lot to not only me but our entire team our spirits where crushed and looked bleak, we where down in score but not by much and looked like the other team was about to score. If they would have scored it was gonna be the end of the game not because time ran out but because our spirits would have been to crushed for us to do anything. So i was on defense and i realize that they are going to run the ball to my side so i do what any other linemen would do i moved over so i could be in the way of the runner. I did something i had no idea i could do i took on 4 guys and made the play i ran right by 2 of them and hit the third guy to the floor and managed to tackle the runner it was an exciting play and what was even greater is that we ended up winning the game.
1. I ran for president of my class and lost for many reasons was why i failed but i know what was the main reason i failed. I wasn't popular enough so of course the most popular senior got all the votes and hardly got any. Even though i lost i learn something that day, i learn that you must be either popular or must have connections to do much in politics. I wasn't upset i know i did my best so i didn't beat myself up for losing am just glad i ran for president.
2. I remember a time that i exceeded my own expectations it was in a football game. This football game meant a lot to not only me but our entire team our spirits where crushed and looked bleak, we where down in score but not by much and looked like the other team was about to score. If they would have scored it was gonna be the end of the game not because time ran out but because our spirits would have been to crushed for us to do anything. So i was on defense and i realize that they are going to run the ball to my side so i do what any other linemen would do i moved over so i could be in the way of the runner. I did something i had no idea i could do i took on 4 guys and made the play i ran right by 2 of them and hit the third guy to the floor and managed to tackle the runner it was an exciting play and what was even greater is that we ended up winning the game.
Monday, September 15, 2008
blog 1
This last weekend I visited some friends at Keene State College. It was a completely different scene there. From the food they ate, their classes and their night life activities on and off campus. I had a very good time and it made me think about the comparison of Westfield State College and Keene State College. By far KSC had much better food at their dinning common, but when it came to the actual education of the two colleges i truly believe WSC's was much better. The majors we have are more interesting and the way we do classes is a lot better also.
When it comes to night life they are pretty similar. Most of the fun happens off campus but they are both pretty much the same.
In the end, i would chose WSC over KSC any day of the week because i feel the education is better here and even though i had a lot of fun at KSC I have fun at WSC every day also.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Part 1
.My name is Peter Richardson, and im 18 years old. I live in Marlboruogh MA, and I attended Assabet Valley Reginal High School. I have a girl friend that is currently a senior in high school. I like to go 4-wheeling and working on my truck. I also like to hangout out with my friends in high school. I also have three older brothers, two sister inlaws, and two nephews.While i was at Assabet i played two sports hockey and baseball. Last year i was very honored to be named caption of the hockey team. for baseball I was the caption since my junior year which is pritty sick. I love partying with the hockey boys it was the best, and just hanging out with the baseball boys was awsome too.
Part 2.
1.Her details that engage me in her essay are that she know all the points. She knows that if you have a big noise you loss a piont, also sucking up, skinny lips, and they subtract a piont if you play the piano. Also she new that you wold gain points if you had nice breasts, unpainted nails, more pionts for smartness.
2.Bosley's essay matters to other people because they can relate to it. They can relate to it because maybe one of there parents have told them that they could loss a pound or 20. Someone could also relate because maybe they ad a dream but they didnt have money to accomplish that dream.
3.The thing that I liked most about this essay was that she wasnt ashamed of were she came from or that she didnt have a lot of money. I liked that because i like to be able to relate to the writers piece when i read it.The main suggestion that I have about this essay is that maybe she should have sasid who won the pagent and why.
4.Bosley give a few ideas of how she could have lost the junior miss pagent but she never give a legit reason why, so I would say that she doesnt deliver. The point of the essay is to get people to under stand what kids are put through when parents put them into pagents or tallent shows.
EXPLORING IDEAS
2.This essay speaks to all different readers and areas. One of the groups that this essay could apply to is pleople that there parents were hard on them. Or perhaps maybe people that have dreams that cant achieve them because they dont have the money too.
3.Well i like to play sports so that is a way that i fit in with my friends or just other people. Most of all of my friends that I associate with i have play a sport either with them or even againstthem.
IDEAS FOR WRITING
1.The disappointing activity I was a particapent in was an intense playoff hockey game. It was my junior year in high school and i played for the Assabet hockey team.The game was against Littleton witch we had lost to and beat. We were down by on e for most of the game and then we tied it up half way through the trird period. We went into two overtimes and it was just a crazy game the fans were awsome and stuff it was great. But with 3 minutes left in the secound overtime our team caption got a penalty and we were down a man. I was on penalty kill so i was out there. With like 30 secounds left to the penalty there defensmen got the puck at the point, so I went down to block the shot but it went through my legs and made it to the net. The puck got tipped and went off my goalies glove and into the net. It was a sad ending to a great year and the end to a great team.
2.A moment that i excieded probly was when my hockey team made the playoffs this year. This was a great Moment because no one thought we would be able to pull it off bet we did.
Part 1
.My name is Peter Richardson, and im 18 years old. I live in Marlboruogh MA, and I attended Assabet Valley Reginal High School. I have a girl friend that is currently a senior in high school. I like to go 4-wheeling and working on my truck. I also like to hangout out with my friends in high school. I also have three older brothers, two sister inlaws, and two nephews.While i was at Assabet i played two sports hockey and baseball. Last year i was very honored to be named caption of the hockey team. for baseball I was the caption since my junior year which is pritty sick. I love partying with the hockey boys it was the best, and just hanging out with the baseball boys was awsome too.
Part 2.
1.Her details that engage me in her essay are that she know all the points. She knows that if you have a big noise you loss a piont, also sucking up, skinny lips, and they subtract a piont if you play the piano. Also she new that you wold gain points if you had nice breasts, unpainted nails, more pionts for smartness.
2.Bosley's essay matters to other people because they can relate to it. They can relate to it because maybe one of there parents have told them that they could loss a pound or 20. Someone could also relate because maybe they ad a dream but they didnt have money to accomplish that dream.
3.The thing that I liked most about this essay was that she wasnt ashamed of were she came from or that she didnt have a lot of money. I liked that because i like to be able to relate to the writers piece when i read it.The main suggestion that I have about this essay is that maybe she should have sasid who won the pagent and why.
4.Bosley give a few ideas of how she could have lost the junior miss pagent but she never give a legit reason why, so I would say that she doesnt deliver. The point of the essay is to get people to under stand what kids are put through when parents put them into pagents or tallent shows.
EXPLORING IDEAS
2.This essay speaks to all different readers and areas. One of the groups that this essay could apply to is pleople that there parents were hard on them. Or perhaps maybe people that have dreams that cant achieve them because they dont have the money too.
3.Well i like to play sports so that is a way that i fit in with my friends or just other people. Most of all of my friends that I associate with i have play a sport either with them or even againstthem.
IDEAS FOR WRITING
1.The disappointing activity I was a particapent in was an intense playoff hockey game. It was my junior year in high school and i played for the Assabet hockey team.The game was against Littleton witch we had lost to and beat. We were down by on e for most of the game and then we tied it up half way through the trird period. We went into two overtimes and it was just a crazy game the fans were awsome and stuff it was great. But with 3 minutes left in the secound overtime our team caption got a penalty and we were down a man. I was on penalty kill so i was out there. With like 30 secounds left to the penalty there defensmen got the puck at the point, so I went down to block the shot but it went through my legs and made it to the net. The puck got tipped and went off my goalies glove and into the net. It was a sad ending to a great year and the end to a great team.
2.A moment that i excieded probly was when my hockey team made the playoffs this year. This was a great Moment because no one thought we would be able to pull it off bet we did.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Part 1
My name is Brendan Marsh and I'm 18 years old. I'm from the little town of Dudley, MA, which is located in southern Mass. I am majoring in Computer Science here at Westfield State College and plan on moving into the programming field when i graduate. Outside of school I enjoy pretty much everything from reading to hanging out with my friends to playing soccer. I pretty much just do everything. If you want to know anything else, I guess just text me 508 479 2045. My phone is my life.
Part 2
Writing Strategies
1. The details that really caught my eyes in this essay were the ones in which Bosley would doubt herself about winning the pageant. The whole essay was a mere surgery on all of her flaws and what she would need to do to fix them and win the competition. Also, her mother would constantly name ways for her daughter to have a better chance at winning the pageant.
2. This essay could matter to anyone in the world. People everyday try their hardest to achieve a goal and that is the moral if this "story". You don't have to be perfect at something, all you have to do is just try your hardest. As long as you go into your "pageant" giving everything you can it is impossible to lose.
3. What I like most about your essay is how you explain in between the lines that you should give your all in any sort of competition or just in general everyday life. The main suggestion I have about your essay is that I wish you had elaborated on how your mother reacted after she found out you had lost the essay.
4. Bosley, unfortunately did not deliver in telling us how she lost the pageant. She did not state it in the essay but it can be determined from the details of the essay that she lost because she did not have enough self-confidence. The main point of this essay is to explain to all people that you don't necessarily have to win, but as long as you try hard enough and put in enough effort that is a "win" in itself.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants can easily be put in to effect with today's society. Today all over television and magazines are ways telling people how they should look or how they should act. If you are not the skinny, beautiful model or the muscular, speedy football star you are seen as a nobody and are put down by society.
3. The perfect example of this is the idea of drinking. Its as if you almost need to drink to fit in. These days there are many people that will do things just to fit into a certain crowd.
Ideas For Writing
1. I have been playing soccer my whole entire life. I have trained everyday and I have played for my school teams and club teams since I was 5 years old. My senior year in high school i was looking forward to the soccer season more than anything, however in tryouts I had broken my ankle and was not able to play. I had never been more disappointed in my whole life.
2. I have never been one to be great at writing papers. I always write average essays just to get the B, maybe even an A here or there. My senior year in high school I had the hardest grading teacher in the English department and I received an A on a paper in her class. I was ecstatic when i got the grade back. This has made me try harder on all the papers I have written since then because I now know that it is possible to do anything you put your mind too.
My name is Brendan Marsh and I'm 18 years old. I'm from the little town of Dudley, MA, which is located in southern Mass. I am majoring in Computer Science here at Westfield State College and plan on moving into the programming field when i graduate. Outside of school I enjoy pretty much everything from reading to hanging out with my friends to playing soccer. I pretty much just do everything. If you want to know anything else, I guess just text me 508 479 2045. My phone is my life.
Part 2
Writing Strategies
1. The details that really caught my eyes in this essay were the ones in which Bosley would doubt herself about winning the pageant. The whole essay was a mere surgery on all of her flaws and what she would need to do to fix them and win the competition. Also, her mother would constantly name ways for her daughter to have a better chance at winning the pageant.
2. This essay could matter to anyone in the world. People everyday try their hardest to achieve a goal and that is the moral if this "story". You don't have to be perfect at something, all you have to do is just try your hardest. As long as you go into your "pageant" giving everything you can it is impossible to lose.
3. What I like most about your essay is how you explain in between the lines that you should give your all in any sort of competition or just in general everyday life. The main suggestion I have about your essay is that I wish you had elaborated on how your mother reacted after she found out you had lost the essay.
4. Bosley, unfortunately did not deliver in telling us how she lost the pageant. She did not state it in the essay but it can be determined from the details of the essay that she lost because she did not have enough self-confidence. The main point of this essay is to explain to all people that you don't necessarily have to win, but as long as you try hard enough and put in enough effort that is a "win" in itself.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants can easily be put in to effect with today's society. Today all over television and magazines are ways telling people how they should look or how they should act. If you are not the skinny, beautiful model or the muscular, speedy football star you are seen as a nobody and are put down by society.
3. The perfect example of this is the idea of drinking. Its as if you almost need to drink to fit in. These days there are many people that will do things just to fit into a certain crowd.
Ideas For Writing
1. I have been playing soccer my whole entire life. I have trained everyday and I have played for my school teams and club teams since I was 5 years old. My senior year in high school i was looking forward to the soccer season more than anything, however in tryouts I had broken my ankle and was not able to play. I had never been more disappointed in my whole life.
2. I have never been one to be great at writing papers. I always write average essays just to get the B, maybe even an A here or there. My senior year in high school I had the hardest grading teacher in the English department and I received an A on a paper in her class. I was ecstatic when i got the grade back. This has made me try harder on all the papers I have written since then because I now know that it is possible to do anything you put your mind too.
Part One
Hi my name is Erin Mulcahy, I am a freshman and a Mass Communications major. I'm from Abington, Ma which is about half an hour from Boston. I am a big fan of all the Boston sports teams and hockey is my favorite sport to watch.
Part Two
Writing Strategies
1. Bosley's details gave me a vivid visual of her surroundings and what she was experiencing. When she said, "...mixed-shag, contrasted so loudly with the cheap 70s furnishings that it threatened my attention to the television set...", I could clearly imagine the description and immediately thought of my grandparents old house. "Clearly, I lacked the save-the-whales and-rainforest civic mindedness required...", Bosley describes what she knew the judges expected to hear in the question and answer portion of the contest. Her details throughout the essay kept me amused and interested in her story.
2. Bosley's essay could matter to others who have experienced a let down such as this or someone who competes a lot. For someone who does not care about pageants, it can teach them to always try their hardest even when they believe they are going to fail.
3. What I like most about Bosley's essay is that she was truthful about her life and her experience and her details kept my interest. The main suggestion I have about her essay is to talk more about the actual pageant, such as what else she had to do besides her routine and the question and answer.
4. Bosley does tell us how she lost the pageant. The point of her essay was to describe why she lost and that even from the beginning she knew she was not going to win. She lost the pageant due to not having the right clothes, car, pictures,and being engaged at 17. Also, her answer to the judges question was original and not the usual world hunger or environmental answer.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants speak to larger issues because it shows how competitions are sometimes more about who has the more expensive or brand name items. The media projects a certain look and if not followed is looked down upon.
3. When I first entered high school I did feel that if I acted a certain way then I would have a lot of friends and ultimately fit in more and be happy. I quickly learned that that does not create happiness. It is true that if you act yourself then you will find true friends that like you for you.
Ideas for Writing
1. Freshman year of high school I played on my school's very first girls lacrosse team. I found out that I was out of shape and not good at running a lot, which lacrosse requires much of. I improved throughout the season but did not like playing at all. I felt as if I had disappointed my dad because he loved going and watching me play a sport instead of watching my dance recitals. Lacrosse took up a lot of time which left me none for dance class and homework. Overall it was best that I did not play the next year, I improved in school and as a dancer which I enjoyed more.
2. When I visited my aunt in California her neighbor took me horseback riding. At the time i was young and scared of heights, but I ended up getting on the horse and doing a few tricks. After, I felt like I could do anything because I knew I overcame a fear.
Hi my name is Erin Mulcahy, I am a freshman and a Mass Communications major. I'm from Abington, Ma which is about half an hour from Boston. I am a big fan of all the Boston sports teams and hockey is my favorite sport to watch.
Part Two
Writing Strategies
1. Bosley's details gave me a vivid visual of her surroundings and what she was experiencing. When she said, "...mixed-shag, contrasted so loudly with the cheap 70s furnishings that it threatened my attention to the television set...", I could clearly imagine the description and immediately thought of my grandparents old house. "Clearly, I lacked the save-the-whales and-rainforest civic mindedness required...", Bosley describes what she knew the judges expected to hear in the question and answer portion of the contest. Her details throughout the essay kept me amused and interested in her story.
2. Bosley's essay could matter to others who have experienced a let down such as this or someone who competes a lot. For someone who does not care about pageants, it can teach them to always try their hardest even when they believe they are going to fail.
3. What I like most about Bosley's essay is that she was truthful about her life and her experience and her details kept my interest. The main suggestion I have about her essay is to talk more about the actual pageant, such as what else she had to do besides her routine and the question and answer.
4. Bosley does tell us how she lost the pageant. The point of her essay was to describe why she lost and that even from the beginning she knew she was not going to win. She lost the pageant due to not having the right clothes, car, pictures,and being engaged at 17. Also, her answer to the judges question was original and not the usual world hunger or environmental answer.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants speak to larger issues because it shows how competitions are sometimes more about who has the more expensive or brand name items. The media projects a certain look and if not followed is looked down upon.
3. When I first entered high school I did feel that if I acted a certain way then I would have a lot of friends and ultimately fit in more and be happy. I quickly learned that that does not create happiness. It is true that if you act yourself then you will find true friends that like you for you.
Ideas for Writing
1. Freshman year of high school I played on my school's very first girls lacrosse team. I found out that I was out of shape and not good at running a lot, which lacrosse requires much of. I improved throughout the season but did not like playing at all. I felt as if I had disappointed my dad because he loved going and watching me play a sport instead of watching my dance recitals. Lacrosse took up a lot of time which left me none for dance class and homework. Overall it was best that I did not play the next year, I improved in school and as a dancer which I enjoyed more.
2. When I visited my aunt in California her neighbor took me horseback riding. At the time i was young and scared of heights, but I ended up getting on the horse and doing a few tricks. After, I felt like I could do anything because I knew I overcame a fear.
Part One
Hey. I am Joe Largay I am 18 years old and I am from Agawam MA the home of Six flags. My Major is Aviation Management and I am a freshman. I enjoy watching football but mostly my favorite team, super bowl champions the New York Giants. Although most people think that I am a New york fan, I am a Red Sox fan and a Celtics fan.
Part Two
Writing Strategies
1) Bosley provided details about what she could do to give herself a better chance to win the pageant but she had always doubted that she could even come close to winning. She also gave details on how her mother wanted her to do things to give herself a better chance like losing weight to become prettier.these details made the essay seem that it should not have been written because of the fact that if Bosley doubted herself that much then she should not have entered in the pageant.
2)This essay could matter to others because it could show them that no matter what circumstances, you should always try your hardest to achieve a goal that will make at least someone happy. This essay is not about a pageant it is about trying with what ever you have to give.
3)"What I like most about your essay is" that is shows details of why you thought you would lose but you still gave it your all to succeed and at least try. "The main suggestion I have about your essay is" that it should not have included as much detail about how you thought your mother wanted you to do better but it should have had why you wanted to do better.
4)Yes Bosley told us how she lost the Junior Miss Pageant but she also told us that she new she was going to lose because of the things that she thought was wrong with her. the point of her essay is to show that she new she would not win but she still tried anyway.
Exploring Ideas
2)Bosley's point of her essay speaks to all that understand competition in the fact that it has to due with winning and losing. it also has to do with how well people are during competition that weather they are rich or poor they are all after the same thing but they have to go about different ways to achieve their goals.
Hey. I am Joe Largay I am 18 years old and I am from Agawam MA the home of Six flags. My Major is Aviation Management and I am a freshman. I enjoy watching football but mostly my favorite team, super bowl champions the New York Giants. Although most people think that I am a New york fan, I am a Red Sox fan and a Celtics fan.
Part Two
Writing Strategies
1) Bosley provided details about what she could do to give herself a better chance to win the pageant but she had always doubted that she could even come close to winning. She also gave details on how her mother wanted her to do things to give herself a better chance like losing weight to become prettier.these details made the essay seem that it should not have been written because of the fact that if Bosley doubted herself that much then she should not have entered in the pageant.
2)This essay could matter to others because it could show them that no matter what circumstances, you should always try your hardest to achieve a goal that will make at least someone happy. This essay is not about a pageant it is about trying with what ever you have to give.
3)"What I like most about your essay is" that is shows details of why you thought you would lose but you still gave it your all to succeed and at least try. "The main suggestion I have about your essay is" that it should not have included as much detail about how you thought your mother wanted you to do better but it should have had why you wanted to do better.
4)Yes Bosley told us how she lost the Junior Miss Pageant but she also told us that she new she was going to lose because of the things that she thought was wrong with her. the point of her essay is to show that she new she would not win but she still tried anyway.
Exploring Ideas
2)Bosley's point of her essay speaks to all that understand competition in the fact that it has to due with winning and losing. it also has to do with how well people are during competition that weather they are rich or poor they are all after the same thing but they have to go about different ways to achieve their goals.
3)Most people do things to fit in with certain crowds but based on that it is usually based on what you enjoy doing to get you to belong or look like you belong to a certain group. there is always many groups in schools and in society based on people s likes and dislike but also on what they do to fit in.
Ideas for Writing
1)One experience that I was involved in was that I was in a fishing tournament that I thought that I could win because it was on a lake that I knew where all the big fish liked to swim around and feed but it was just not my luck that day and I was skunked the entire day by people who have never fished at that lake before.
2)An experience that I recall that I excelled in was when my grandfather took me archery shooting for the first time. I had no idea what I was doing and surprisingly I did great. During the few months that I did archery I achieved a Robin Hood which was really cool to do.
Monday, September 8, 2008
English Comp 101 (9/8/08)
Part 1
Hey! My name is Josh Unwin. I am 18 and will be 19 in December. I'm a freshman (obviously) and I am majoring in Computer Science.
I am a die-hard baseball fan and I'm a BoSox fan. I also play baseball. In high school, I made the Varsity team my freshman year as a pitcher. I do not plan to play for Westfield though. It would be too much to juggle. You may notice that my username is "Bigcountry21". Well its my baseball nickname for highschool and "21" was number.
Part 2
__Writing Strategies __
1) Bosley provides details throughout her essay about how much the Junior Miss Pageant meant to her mother. Her mother would criticize her being a little overweight by telling that she could stand to lose twenty pounds; that it could help her have a better chance on winning the pageant. Bosley had to get a photograph done of herself to be eligible for the contest and her family was a very low budget kind of family. When basic polariods weren't doing the trick, her mother did something, that to this day is still unbeknownced by Bosley, to get money to get "professional" pictures done at K-Mart. This pageant seemed to mean more to her mother than it did to Bosley. It made me wonder if it had been her mother's dream to win a pageant and was now pushing it onto her daughter.
2) The public resonance of this essay would be the interesting way that Bosley criticized and scored people who had been in the Miss America pageants. She would take points away for basic imperfections which provided some kind of comedy to the essay that someone, like myself, would not find very interesting.
3) If i was to review Bosley's essay and then give her my thoughts I would tell her: "What I liked most about your essay was your lack of care about what your appearance. You entered the contest knowing that rejection was in your future. The main suggestion I have about your essay would be to have gone into more detail of the pageant. That is what the essay was basically about.
4) Bosley does tell us how she lost the pageant and it was a big shocker to us all. I'm sure we all were looking for a more practical reason. She basically tells us that she lost because her clothes weren't good enough, that her appearance wasn't the best. But then she goes into what her car looked like and what her house looks like. It's then that you realize that Bosley never intended to win or even come close to winning. She was there for her mother. To try to find her mother some closure in her supposedly "lonely" life.
__Exploring Ideas __
2) Bosley's point about beauty pageants speak to more larger issues than just the pageants themselves. Pageants to the normal television viewer is just a competition that just judges girls on the beauty. What they don't show are what the girls do to prep. Imagine being the girl that works out everyday to look good in her bathing suit, eats very little to get into the dress she must wear, all of that a waste if you lose. Imagine what those girls feel after the lose. The insecurity they must feel.
3) Playing sports is one way that I chose to fit in with some of my friends I have now. Playing well in popular sports such as baseball, football, soccer and basketball, will get you recognized by most people and will enhance your chances of making friends. You get recognized by playing horrible to, just not in a good way. Am I saying thats how it should be, No. Is that how it is? Yes!
__Ideas of Writing__
1) My junior year our baseball team was in the Western Mass playoffs and it was my first time being in the playoffs during y high school career. My coach took me out of the line-up. Why? I don't know still but I wasn't happy. So I went to first base and just went with it. He took me out of the game. Once again, Why? I don't know! We lost 10-3. Fun times........
2) It was my last baseball game of my senior year that I would ever pitch. I went into the game expecting to just get the job done against West Springfield. Instead, I threw a 1 hitter and batted 3-4 with 3 RBI's. If you are not a sports fan and you do not understand what any of that means, come ask me, I will have no problem informing you.
Part Two
Writing Strategies
1.Bosley provided a number of details throughout the essay.One being when she mentioned that at the age of seven she used to draw up her own chart and judged the beauty contest in her living room.She also went into depth when explaining that it was the "Flashdance" era and where the girls all got their leg warmers.Bosley went into further detail when saying what each store meant if you were to shop there.In a way, these details are engaging because it allows you to have a better understanding of whats going on or what the writer is trying to express.
2.The essay matters because it gives a prime example of how girls especially, are supposed to have a certain image that the public considers to be beautiful. People are always critiqued by their appearance which is something anybody can relate to.
3.What I like most about your essay is...the fact that its very upfront and honest. For example when she said "I'd lost the contest because I didnt yet know how to tell people what they wanted to hear."That her personal concern was not saving the whales but it was her mother being lonely, yet that wasnt acceptable. The main suggestion i have about your essay is...to elaborate more about your father or the fact that you were married at the age of seventeen.
4.I would say that Bosley does deliver. Towards the end of the essay she wraps up all the reasons why she may have lost the pageant. The point of her essay is that society tries to shape people and attempts to make them believe they're different because they dont fit a specific image. She points out that nobody should dream to be Miss America. Bosley lost the pagaent for stating her true thoughts and feelings and for not being the all around "perfect" girl thats supposed to be portrayed for Junior Miss Pagaent.
1.Bosley provided a number of details throughout the essay.One being when she mentioned that at the age of seven she used to draw up her own chart and judged the beauty contest in her living room.She also went into depth when explaining that it was the "Flashdance" era and where the girls all got their leg warmers.Bosley went into further detail when saying what each store meant if you were to shop there.In a way, these details are engaging because it allows you to have a better understanding of whats going on or what the writer is trying to express.
2.The essay matters because it gives a prime example of how girls especially, are supposed to have a certain image that the public considers to be beautiful. People are always critiqued by their appearance which is something anybody can relate to.
3.What I like most about your essay is...the fact that its very upfront and honest. For example when she said "I'd lost the contest because I didnt yet know how to tell people what they wanted to hear."That her personal concern was not saving the whales but it was her mother being lonely, yet that wasnt acceptable. The main suggestion i have about your essay is...to elaborate more about your father or the fact that you were married at the age of seventeen.
4.I would say that Bosley does deliver. Towards the end of the essay she wraps up all the reasons why she may have lost the pageant. The point of her essay is that society tries to shape people and attempts to make them believe they're different because they dont fit a specific image. She points out that nobody should dream to be Miss America. Bosley lost the pagaent for stating her true thoughts and feelings and for not being the all around "perfect" girl thats supposed to be portrayed for Junior Miss Pagaent.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants speaks to other issues such as competition and the media because all the girls are going against eachother to see who can come across as more beautiful to everyone watching. This can cause girls to feel very insecure and get down on themselves because the media is constantly judging what they look like.
3. Some people believe that if you play sports and do good in school or dont do drugs then youre considered a "prep" or stuck up. I think that people shouldnt judge individuals like that especially before youve even sat down and talked to them.
Ideas for Writing
1.My senior year of high school I was on the girls soccer team and we had broke all the school records such as first winning season, first year to make tournament, most goals scored etc.,So when we all worked so hard all season and then got bumped out of tourny first round it was disappointing to all of us.We werent ready for the season to be over.
2.During soccer my senior year my coach had moved my position to defense which i had never played before, I was always a mid-fielder. I was really nervous about it but by the end of the season i got defensive player of the year which proved that i exceeded my own expectations.
Part 1
Part 1
Hi, I am Corey Carbone. Im eighteen years old and I am a criminal justice major at Westfield State College. I am from Franklin, Massachusetts where i attended Franklin High School.I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life. I love to watch the Patriots, Celtics and Red Sox. I love the cold Massachusetts weather.
During my years at Franklin High i played basketball for the church league where we won the state championship. Besides that i didn't do that much, i hung out with my friends and went to parties on the weekend. Im a pretty basic kid. I like to take it easy and although i can get angry at times I am usually a nice guy.
Part 2
1.The main detail that caught my eye is how important she seemed to think this pageant was. In my mind a pageant isn't a real big deal and she talks about it like it is the end of the world when she loses. She says her mom gets sad and starts talking about sad things. That caught my eye the most. How she thought the pageant so crucial to her teenage life.
2. This matters to other who may not be interested with the pageant because it tells the story of this particular girls life and how she had a tough family life with her mom. Also how this pageant brought her and her depressed mother close for the time of the pageant and how the lose of the pageant effected their lives.
3. What i liked most about the essay was that it was very personal and it caught my eye from the very beginning. The main suggestion i have about the essay is that it may be about a topic that doesn't attract a lot of readers.
4. She does explain how she lost the pageant. The point of her essay is about her life and this pageant. She apparently loses because of how she responds to one of the questions she is asked by the judges.
2.She shows that they point to media and Competition because she speaks of how the media portrays girls to have to look a certain way..very pretty, which is shown in a beauty pageant. Girls basically compete to be the best looking.
3.I believe the most common experience is going out to parties. Some people believe you must go out to a party in order to fit in. It is not necessarily true but some believe that.
1. One experience i was involved with that i was dissapointed with the out come of was sittion on the bench freshman on the football team. Another is losing the championship in basketball as a junior.
2.I used to lack talent playing basketball, however i worked really hard and ended up being one of the better players on the team. I helped lead the team to a championship my senior year.
Matt felt that the main detail was about her personality which kind of relates to my answer because i thought that the article was all about how she felt about the situation, which reflects her personality.
Leticia stated that she felt the most detailed part was how she got more and more complex into the story about the pageants which is very correct i just did not see it that way.
"How I Lost The Junior Miss Pageant" 9/8/08
PART ONE
Hi, my name is Leticia Crespo. I am 18 but will turn 19 on September 15. I was born and raised in Fitchburg Mass. I am a Freshman and my major is Criminal Justice.
I like to watch sports. I am a Boston fan, Red Soxs, Pats, Celtics, the whole gang. I am pretty disappointed with Tom Brady out for the season by the way. I will just say goodbye to the playoffs now. I like to listen to music. I love everything. Yes, I do mean everything and yes that does include Britney Spears and probably anything else you can think of.
That is pretty much me. If you want to know anything else, feel free to email at lcrespo7619@wsc.ma.edu.
PART TWO
Writing Strategies
1. One of the parts that engaged me the most was in the beginning when Bosley recalled about how she would sit in the couch and be her own judge for the Miss America Pageant. How she carefully created a chart prior to the pageant and how as she got more and more complex with it.
2. This essay has more meaning to it then just Pageants. This essay talks about the pressure that society and even parents place on people, especially young people, to look "beautiful", perform well, and just be a happy useful part of society. Also, she talks about that pressure influenced the relationship she had with her mother.
3. What I like most about your essay is how you showed society's stereotypes when you talked about why you didn't win and how you listed of girls who would never win it like "The girl hiding in her room reading and writing poetry doesn't win Miss America". The main suggestion I have about your essay is i wished to hear more about how your mother reacted after you lost the pageant.
4. Yes, she didn't tell us how she lost the Junior Miss Pageant. She lost the pageant because she didn't do or say what the judges wanted. She answered the questions like her self and not the normal "save the world" stuff. She wasn't the rich girl "I can get everything" girl, even though she tried to be one. She grew up to view every single flaw she could imagine and grew to see beauty in a cynical way. All of this in her mind made it impossible to win.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosely's idea that she didn't win because she didn't give the judges what they wanted or said what they wanted can be put general ideas. In society, this includes media, class, traditions, if you don't do or are what is considered the norm, then you are put down. You are viewed as a maverick and became an outcast.
3. I do not drink. Most people think that because you are a young teen, that you have to drink, including most of my family members. They are all surprised when they find out that I don't. Also, when other young people hear that you don't drink they think that you don't because you don't like it. Me on the other hand have more reasons. I see what it does to people and I don't want to be that person.
Ideas for Writing
1. One thing I was disappointed in was when I was unable to go to my first choice college, University of New Haven. I got accepted but it was just too expensive for me and my family. The significance of this is that I learned that I won't always get what I want. College is college, I am in school in a great college and I will learned to move on, never be disappointed and never loom on the past.
2. One thing I have exceeded my own expectations is the fact that I have not yet at the age of 19 still not drank. Thinking about it I know I can do it. I know I can last as long as I want but the people around me have put into my head that everyone does it and that sooner or later it is going to happen. Even though that is in my mind, I know I won't fall under pressure, even though I am nervous I will. The significance is that because of what people around me think, I feel nervous, even though I know I won't fall.
Hi, my name is Leticia Crespo. I am 18 but will turn 19 on September 15. I was born and raised in Fitchburg Mass. I am a Freshman and my major is Criminal Justice.
I like to watch sports. I am a Boston fan, Red Soxs, Pats, Celtics, the whole gang. I am pretty disappointed with Tom Brady out for the season by the way. I will just say goodbye to the playoffs now. I like to listen to music. I love everything. Yes, I do mean everything and yes that does include Britney Spears and probably anything else you can think of.
That is pretty much me. If you want to know anything else, feel free to email at lcrespo7619@wsc.ma.edu.
PART TWO
Writing Strategies
1. One of the parts that engaged me the most was in the beginning when Bosley recalled about how she would sit in the couch and be her own judge for the Miss America Pageant. How she carefully created a chart prior to the pageant and how as she got more and more complex with it.
2. This essay has more meaning to it then just Pageants. This essay talks about the pressure that society and even parents place on people, especially young people, to look "beautiful", perform well, and just be a happy useful part of society. Also, she talks about that pressure influenced the relationship she had with her mother.
3. What I like most about your essay is how you showed society's stereotypes when you talked about why you didn't win and how you listed of girls who would never win it like "The girl hiding in her room reading and writing poetry doesn't win Miss America". The main suggestion I have about your essay is i wished to hear more about how your mother reacted after you lost the pageant.
4. Yes, she didn't tell us how she lost the Junior Miss Pageant. She lost the pageant because she didn't do or say what the judges wanted. She answered the questions like her self and not the normal "save the world" stuff. She wasn't the rich girl "I can get everything" girl, even though she tried to be one. She grew up to view every single flaw she could imagine and grew to see beauty in a cynical way. All of this in her mind made it impossible to win.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosely's idea that she didn't win because she didn't give the judges what they wanted or said what they wanted can be put general ideas. In society, this includes media, class, traditions, if you don't do or are what is considered the norm, then you are put down. You are viewed as a maverick and became an outcast.
3. I do not drink. Most people think that because you are a young teen, that you have to drink, including most of my family members. They are all surprised when they find out that I don't. Also, when other young people hear that you don't drink they think that you don't because you don't like it. Me on the other hand have more reasons. I see what it does to people and I don't want to be that person.
Ideas for Writing
1. One thing I was disappointed in was when I was unable to go to my first choice college, University of New Haven. I got accepted but it was just too expensive for me and my family. The significance of this is that I learned that I won't always get what I want. College is college, I am in school in a great college and I will learned to move on, never be disappointed and never loom on the past.
2. One thing I have exceeded my own expectations is the fact that I have not yet at the age of 19 still not drank. Thinking about it I know I can do it. I know I can last as long as I want but the people around me have put into my head that everyone does it and that sooner or later it is going to happen. Even though that is in my mind, I know I won't fall under pressure, even though I am nervous I will. The significance is that because of what people around me think, I feel nervous, even though I know I won't fall.
Part 1
Hey my name is Ian Wilson. I am from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I'm a communications major. I'm 21 years old yet still a freshman because for the last 3 years I've lived in Canada and played hockey up there.
Part 2
Writing Strategies
1. I liked the details that Bosley used to describe the time period. Constantly making references about certain things that weren't created yet. Like the example about the wal mart not being around yet or the hooters not being around either. I just thought they were good examples to remind you what sort of time period it was and what wasn't around yet.
2. I think this essay would be good to someone who doesn't care about pageants because the essay deals more with what the pageant, city, family, and friends made her feel it didn't just deal with a pageant. It was about a girls feelings and why she had them and what she was thinking so someone could get into it without being into pageants at all.
3. What I like most about your essay is that how you constantly set the time table and made references to the time. For example bringing up the flashdance era. The main suggestion I would have is maybe talk about the actual pageant a little more. The essay is titled and based around the pageant yet we don't really ever hear a whole lot about the pageant other than a few things.
4. I would say that she doesn't deliver. She tells us that she didn't win and that she didn't think she could win because of where she was from and how she looked and everything but never really got into detail with the pageant. Were not entirely sure where she lost it or how. We don't know if she got 2nd or 3rd or anything. We just know she didn't win and were not entirely sure why.
Exploring Ideas
2. I think her points about beauty pageants speak to a variety of issues. She speaks like a girl of a lot of insecurities which I think is a common issue today. Also the competition issue how she compared herself to all of her friends individually and very specifically which is another common issue.
3. I think in todays society there is plenty of things going on where people will do certain things to get in with certain people. Sometimes its partying or playing a sport or joining some sort of club. The kids will make decisions based on where they want to be in a certain group compared to what is best for them.
Ideas for Writing
1. An experience where I had disappointing results was my 8th grade year when I was playing football. I had played football since 4th grade and I was a really chubby kid so I always played defensive line. Between 7th and 8th grade I lost all the weight that I had and was pretty much nothing but skin and bones but I still played line. Needless to say I got tossed around like a rag doll all year in practice and in games.
2. An experience where I exceeded my own expectations would have been when I was playing goalie for a hockey team in Canada. We went into a playoff series as big underdogs playing against one of the best teams in the country. It was a best of 7 game series and nobody really gave us a chance. The coach told me that if we wanted to have any chance of winning the series I had to play amazing. I ended up playing great and getting back to back shut outs to beat them in 6 games. That experience was significant because now I have more confidence in situations everywhere in life where it might not seem realistic to succeed in that situation.
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