Part Two

Writing Strategies




1.Bosley provided a number of details throughout the essay.One being when she mentioned that at the age of seven she used to draw up her own chart and judged the beauty contest in her living room.She also went into depth when explaining that it was the "Flashdance" era and where the girls all got their leg warmers.Bosley went into further detail when saying what each store meant if you were to shop there.In a way, these details are engaging because it allows you to have a better understanding of whats going on or what the writer is trying to express.



2.The essay matters because it gives a prime example of how girls especially, are supposed to have a certain image that the public considers to be beautiful. People are always critiqued by their appearance which is something anybody can relate to.



3.What I like most about your essay is...the fact that its very upfront and honest. For example when she said "I'd lost the contest because I didnt yet know how to tell people what they wanted to hear."That her personal concern was not saving the whales but it was her mother being lonely, yet that wasnt acceptable. The main suggestion i have about your essay is...to elaborate more about your father or the fact that you were married at the age of seventeen.





4.I would say that Bosley does deliver. Towards the end of the essay she wraps up all the reasons why she may have lost the pageant. The point of her essay is that society tries to shape people and attempts to make them believe they're different because they dont fit a specific image. She points out that nobody should dream to be Miss America. Bosley lost the pagaent for stating her true thoughts and feelings and for not being the all around "perfect" girl thats supposed to be portrayed for Junior Miss Pagaent.

Exploring Ideas

2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants speaks to other issues such as competition and the media because all the girls are going against eachother to see who can come across as more beautiful to everyone watching. This can cause girls to feel very insecure and get down on themselves because the media is constantly judging what they look like.

3. Some people believe that if you play sports and do good in school or dont do drugs then youre considered a "prep" or stuck up. I think that people shouldnt judge individuals like that especially before youve even sat down and talked to them.

Ideas for Writing

1.My senior year of high school I was on the girls soccer team and we had broke all the school records such as first winning season, first year to make tournament, most goals scored etc.,So when we all worked so hard all season and then got bumped out of tourny first round it was disappointing to all of us.We werent ready for the season to be over.

2.During soccer my senior year my coach had moved my position to defense which i had never played before, I was always a mid-fielder. I was really nervous about it but by the end of the season i got defensive player of the year which proved that i exceeded my own expectations.