Part 1

My name is Brendan Marsh and I'm 18 years old. I'm from the little town of Dudley, MA, which is located in southern Mass. I am majoring in Computer Science here at Westfield State College and plan on moving into the programming field when i graduate. Outside of school I enjoy pretty much everything from reading to hanging out with my friends to playing soccer. I pretty much just do everything. If you want to know anything else, I guess just text me 508 479 2045. My phone is my life.


Part 2

Writing Strategies

1. The details that really caught my eyes in this essay were the ones in which Bosley would doubt herself about winning the pageant. The whole essay was a mere surgery on all of her flaws and what she would need to do to fix them and win the competition. Also, her mother would constantly name ways for her daughter to have a better chance at winning the pageant.

2. This essay could matter to anyone in the world. People everyday try their hardest to achieve a goal and that is the moral if this "story". You don't have to be perfect at something, all you have to do is just try your hardest. As long as you go into your "pageant" giving everything you can it is impossible to lose.

3. What I like most about your essay is how you explain in between the lines that you should give your all in any sort of competition or just in general everyday life. The main suggestion I have about your essay is that I wish you had elaborated on how your mother reacted after she found out you had lost the essay.

4. Bosley, unfortunately did not deliver in telling us how she lost the pageant. She did not state it in the essay but it can be determined from the details of the essay that she lost because she did not have enough self-confidence. The main point of this essay is to explain to all people that you don't necessarily have to win, but as long as you try hard enough and put in enough effort that is a "win" in itself.

Exploring Ideas

2. Bosley's point about beauty pageants can easily be put in to effect with today's society. Today all over television and magazines are ways telling people how they should look or how they should act. If you are not the skinny, beautiful model or the muscular, speedy football star you are seen as a nobody and are put down by society.

3. The perfect example of this is the idea of drinking. Its as if you almost need to drink to fit in. These days there are many people that will do things just to fit into a certain crowd.

Ideas For Writing

1. I have been playing soccer my whole entire life. I have trained everyday and I have played for my school teams and club teams since I was 5 years old. My senior year in high school i was looking forward to the soccer season more than anything, however in tryouts I had broken my ankle and was not able to play. I had never been more disappointed in my whole life.

2. I have never been one to be great at writing papers. I always write average essays just to get the B, maybe even an A here or there. My senior year in high school I had the hardest grading teacher in the English department and I received an A on a paper in her class. I was ecstatic when i got the grade back. This has made me try harder on all the papers I have written since then because I now know that it is possible to do anything you put your mind too.