Part 1

Hey my name is Ian Wilson.  I am from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  I'm a communications major.  I'm 21 years old yet still a freshman because for the last 3 years I've lived in Canada and played hockey up there.

Part 2

Writing Strategies

1. I liked the details that Bosley used to describe the time period. Constantly making references about certain things that weren't created yet. Like the example about the wal mart not being around yet or the hooters not being around either. I just thought they were good examples to remind you what sort of time period it was and what wasn't around yet.

2.  I think this essay would be good to someone who doesn't care about pageants because the essay deals more with what the pageant, city, family, and friends made her feel it didn't just deal with a pageant.  It was about a girls feelings and why she had them and what she was thinking so someone could get into it without being into pageants at all.

3.  What I like most about your essay is that how you constantly set the time table and made references to the time.  For example bringing up the flashdance era.  The main suggestion I would have is maybe talk about the actual pageant a little more.  The essay is titled and based around the pageant yet we don't really ever hear a whole lot about the pageant other than a few things.

4.  I would say that she doesn't deliver.  She tells us that she didn't win and that she didn't think she could win because of where she was from and how she looked and everything but never really got into detail with the pageant.  Were not entirely sure where she lost it or how.  We don't know if she got 2nd or 3rd or anything.  We just know she didn't win and were not entirely sure why.

Exploring Ideas 

2.  I think her points about beauty pageants speak to a variety of issues.  She speaks like a girl of a lot of insecurities which I think is a common issue today.  Also the competition issue how she compared herself to all of her friends individually and very specifically which is another common issue.  

3.  I think in todays society there is plenty of things going on where people will do certain things to get in with certain people.  Sometimes its partying or playing a sport or joining some sort of club.  The kids will make decisions based on where they want to be in a certain group compared to what is best for them.   

Ideas for Writing

1.  An experience where I had disappointing results was my 8th grade year when I was playing football.  I had played football since 4th grade and I was a really chubby kid so I always played defensive line.  Between 7th and 8th grade I lost all the weight that I had and was pretty much nothing but skin and bones but I still played line.  Needless to say I got tossed around like a rag doll all year in practice and in games.    

2.  An experience where I exceeded my own expectations would have been when I was playing goalie for a hockey team in Canada.  We went into a playoff series as big underdogs playing against one of the best teams in the country.  It was a best of 7 game series and nobody really gave us a chance.  The coach told me that if we wanted to have any chance of winning the series I had to play amazing.  I ended up playing great and getting back to back shut outs to beat them in 6 games.  That experience was significant because now I have more confidence in situations everywhere in life where it might not seem realistic to succeed in that situation.